"When it's with me you only need two minutes because I'm so intense. Two minutes in heaven is better than one minute in heaven. You tell me you want some more. Well, I'm not surprised, but I am quite sleepy."
Somehow I thought of The first song I ever heard of The Flight of The Conchords (of which Jon introduced me to) as an appropriate intro to the
Amazing Show that is
The Sex Workers Art Show (SWAS) that has been traveling the country and was at the Rock & Roll Hotel last night.
Never had I seen such a LARGE packed house at that place. Packed in almost like sardines.
It had an almost a through the looking glass appeal when I first saw the adverts, a very definite curiosity. But then the show really manages to give the industry a voice, add a faces and a name to this anonymous and often exploited labor force but managed to maintain a light and highly entertaining mood. It was an eye opener to hear that the industry nets more than the 3 of 4 of the major sports combined (Football, Basketball & Hockey), and as Annie Oakley the shows Hostess/MC said that much like our burgers and food we like “prefer our products to remain anonymous.” , including sex......
There were 8 performers overall:
Kirk Read who grew up in small town, VA read/preformed his letter to Rick Hilton (heir to the Hilton Fortune maybe?) which included complaints such as no light colored comforters (stain too easily) and installing dimmers (allows for better mood lighting for his clientèle). But more poignant was his description of his night with his client - (not the dirty details - except for the comforter bit)
Dirty Martini was next who did a "patriotic" burlesque bit with a comment on America's love of money..... and basically where we can stick it (or in this case find it) - mouth, underwear, boobs and butt - Yep a string of nothing "butt" cash from there - hilarious AND disturbing!
The World Famous *BOB*, was easily the most endearing. A down to earth girl from a teeny town in Cali, she recounted how she fled in a Camaro with her gay hairdresser friend to L.A. to become a dime-a-dance girl, who then turned into a self-proclaimed “worst dominatrix ever” turned performance artist. Bob (she renamed herself after The Cure front man Robert Smith) performed an neat striptease to the theme from 2001: A Space Odyssey!
Erin Markey showed off her hilarious wit, as well as her pole dancing and singing chops, as she captivated us with the story of her journey from college grad to Chuck E. Cheese reject to an amateur stripper with the stage name “Bridget.”
Lorelei Lee, a porn performer read from her fiction work (didn't catch the title)
Mistress Keva turned a could a been
LNS'er into her submissive pony boy in a dominatrix show, and gave him a Cantonese name and made him whimper on command. She spoke of how she exploits Asian stereotypes and fetishes with her clients, pretending to say dirty things in Cantonese when actually she’s asking how much the yellow purse costs or Happy New Year. The finale of her act was - even though no nudity was involved, used a very life like prosthetic and was Quite Shocking, even to me!
Author Chris Kraus read a story about her days as a topless dancer in New York City. It felt out of touch with the rest of the show somehow. Something from another era.
The night ended with fireworks - literally - with the performance of Krylon Superstar (pictured above), who hammed it up with the audience then sang and danced to a patriotic anthem with the words “F*** Bush” taped to his chest. He finished with a
"flourish" by placing a sparkler in his butt and lighting it to the shock and applause of the audience. LIKE OMG! once you have Anal Sparklers - how can you top that!
The evening was capped off by us actually getting to meet & talk to the World Famous *BOB* in person ("Bob like a girl, Jan like a guy" - direct quote from her on our introduction.) yeah even though Krylon was fun - we got to meet & talk to "her" - *BOB* is sooo down to earth. She is NYC, (and surprisingly had never been to DC before), and who knows - it could be well worth it to visit her burlesque show on my next trip up there!
